Monday, September 23, 2013

Reviewing the "How to Keep Your Husband" Apron

I've discovered a new apron and I felt compelled to read it's tips. It's called "How to Keep Your Husband". Many call it politically incorrect and focuses too much on the man. I decided to read its advice (and I could thanks to this blog here) and categorize the advice as good or bad. I found most of the advice to be very good...if you apply it to both in the marriage). Granted, some of the images are not politically correct (for instance the image with the solid advice "show him and tell him you love him" is a man relaxing in a chair while his wife serves him food from a plate, while on her knees), but that doesn't negate the importance of the advice. You can buy it here if you wish.

Bad advice:
  • Always look innocent! (I value honesty in marriage, so if you did something wrong, own up to it please)

Good advice if both follow it:
  • Watch your weight! (It's a double standard to expect the woman to keep her weight at the newlywed level, but not the man to do likewise. Watching your weight can allow many more happy years in the future.)
  • Kiss him often! (A marriage resource recommends a minimum of one passionate 15 second kiss per day.) 
  • Have dinner ready! (I view this as a simple way to show that I love my hubby and am thinking about him.)
  • Get up for breakfast with a smile! (It's a personal rule of mine to not start up my computer until after my hubby leaves for work. The 30 minutes we are both awake and at home before he leaves for work are the only minutes I get to see him for 9 hours. I try to send him on his way with a positive note.) 
  • Don't open his mail! (If I do this, without permission, I'm being nosy and show a lack of trust.) 
  • Don't nag! (My hubby doesn't appreciate nagging and is more willing to do necessary tasks without nagging.) 
  • Don't go thru his pockets! (Again, if I do this, without permission such as laundry day work, I'm being nosy and show a lack of trust.) 
  • Don't gossip over the phone! (This is just good manners.) 
  • Don't get mad or jealous! (I view anger and jealously stemming from a lack of trust as dangerous. My hubby never yells and when I'm angry, I go off to another room until I cool off and can rationally discuss what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, and what needs to change. Anger rarely solves the problem in our household.)
  • Let him read his paper in peace! (My hubby needs 30 minutes of "detox" time or time to unwind after work. There is plenty of time after these 30 minutes for him to hear about my day and for me to hear about his.)
  • Encourage his hobbies! (Spouses need encouragement and dreams & hobbies should be encouraged.)
  • Praise his in-laws! (Criticizing my spouse's parents causes him to get defensive. It also puts my husband in an awkward situation: does he choose his parents' side or his spouse's side? Another book I recently read noted that if there is a big problem between you and the in-laws, your spouse should also see it as a big problem and be willing to talk with his parents. So choose praise, your spouse will appreciate it.)
  • Don't be a know-it-all! (I was taught that "no one likes a know-it-all." Sometimes people need to learn things for themselves. Sometimes there are other acceptable ways to reach a solution.)
  • Don't go over the budget! (If you have a budget in your marriage, which I recommend, both of you should stick to it!)
  • Don't look sloppy over the breakfast table! (Women, we dress up to see the world and we wear our comfy, yet not dressy, clothes at home. Our husbands should get to see us dress up for them, like we did when we were dating. Putting effort into our appearances says, "We care about pleasing you.")
  • Don't boss him around. (Husbands are the God-ordained head of the house. It's hard for them to fill that role when there is a dominating wife who refuses to give up the headship position. My hubby taught me that if I'm filling the leadership role, he's just going to relax...it's already covered, you see.)
  • Show him and tell him you love him. (Spouses should be shown and told of your love for them. Often. Consistently.)
So when I read this 1950s style marriage advice, I found myself nodding my head a lot, for I agreed that these were good words to keep a marriage happy if both spouses applied them to their lives.

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