Wanted: This Exact Church

Married female looking for the exact church in description below.

Ideal Church:

• Multi-generational, multi-national church that plays a variety of hymns, choruses, and contemporary songs, using both piano/organ and a praise band (drummers need not be present). All songs should be theologically sound, meaningful, and in their proper church season (see below).
• This church should closely follow the seasons of the church year, with its songs, readings, and decorations, but each season should be clearly explained each year. Many liturgical readings should be used, but only when they have meaning (for me).
• Bulletins are not necessary, but announcements should be clearly displayed. 
• Each service should have ample time for the Holy Spirit to move, but services should not run longer than necessary. After the Holy Spirit comes and moves, it's time to go home (we have nothing more to add). 
• Sunday school classes should reflect the multi-generational, multi-national aspect of the church. The lessons should delve deeply into Scripture and teach us how to study the Bible in different ways. We should be in a class that interests us.
• Church members should be willing to volunteer for various tasks. No gossiping or pettiness is present in the church.
• Sermons should be Spirit-inspired, yet take us systematically through the Bible. Sometimes sermons are not necessary for the worship service. 
• Prayers should be bigger than the congregation's family, friends, and church. They should focus on God's glory and needs from around the world.
• Missions should be supported and emphasized. 
• Name-tags should be worn for the sake of new people (or people who have been going there for over 3 years, but still don't know some people's names because after you've talked to people for 3 years, you've passed the point where you can ask for their names).
• The church should look nice, but shouldn't cost too much to build and upkeep. Starving children need food more than we need new carpet.

Although some of these desires are good and many of them have good intentions, when I try to force my church into the mold of my ideal church, I stop making worship about God and start making it about me. I stop having a heart receptive to God when I'm focused on all of the "wrong" things being done at my church AND somehow, my expectations contradict themselves, which makes it very hard for my expectations to be met.

Even worse, when I go to church expecting this and griping when my expectations aren't met, I'm missing the point.

I'm missing the point of worship.