Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I’m Generous…because I know I’m selfish

You call me generous, but I don’t always believe it. My generosity is fueled by my knowledge of my own selfishness. I know it sounds odd, but it’s true: I am generous because I know I am a selfish person. 
There are people in my life whose generosity amazes me & shames me. For I know I am selfish, stingy, and otherwise self-seeking. Their willingness to share astounds me & challenges me to do better.
Yet when we are trying to carpool somewhere, I am unwilling to give up my seat to you, if we all must go, for I know I’d be rearranging, not solving, the problem. 
I hoard to guard against the possibilities in the unknown future, yet I am shamed by verses talking of radical generosity (for instance instructions to give away one coat if you have two).
The reason I am generous is because I know that I am selfish by nature. I know that left to my own devices, I will have more than enough & others won’t have enough. So I intentionally live generously. I share what I have, but don’t use often. I give what I have, but don’t use. I open the doors, to my house & to my cupboard, to be intentionally generous, to act against my selfishness. 
I know I am selfish, and so I am generous.

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