Friday, October 26, 2012

Respecting the Men in Your Life

"People will live up to, or down to, your expectations of them." My behavior management professor taught us this from the start.

Society doesn't respect men. Not as leaders. Not as the head of the house. Not as a decision maker. Books, movies, tv shows (especially sitcoms), and commercials shows this disrespect.

What are things that I try to avoid, in order to respect my hubby? (I'm not perfect with these yet)

Not calling him a child.
Not treating him like a child.
Not publicly criticizing him.
Not attacking him with "always" and "never."
Not ignoring his advice when I ask for it. (Today, as I write this blog, I asked my hubby what he would like me to wear to church tomo. I was thinking of some of my favorite outfits that I would like to wear. He suggested something different. I'm wearing what he suggested, because I value his input.)
Not talking more or more positively about other guys (celebrity crushes, other stories with guys)

What are things that I try to do, in order to respect my hubby? (I'm not perfect with these yet)
I try to wear outfits he likes to see me in.
I try to cook foods that he likes to eat.
I try to manage our money well.
I try to dress modestly in public, not because he's controlling, but because it makes him smile to see me in modest outfits in front of other guys.
I try to make sure that the first and last things I say to him are positive each day. (Some days, I sleep in and when I get up, I notice something negative, after he's at work. He did something differently than I would have done. But my goal is to avoid sending an email or text that starts off our interaction with "you did this wrong."
Remember details from old stories told.
Get excited with him about stuff.
Give him down-time after work.
Say positive things in public about him (especially to other people).
Do things hubby wants, cuz hubby likes, even if I don’t.
Run ideas past hubby (to see how it affects him).
I try to ask, not order. (THIS ONE IS REALLY HARD)

Sometimes, some wives don't respect their husbands. This disrespect may come in the form of public criticism and arguments. It may show itself in the form of body language (rolled eyes, sighs, and aggressive stances). It may show itself in stories told or descriptions used of husbands.

Then men get slammed for not being a part of their children's lives or not being the head of the house. But they sometimes get attacked verbally when they try. "That's wrong." "Let me do it." "How could you dress the kids that way?"

If you criticize anyone too much, they give up. They stop trying. Why bother? They can't earn your praise anyway.

I've said it before and probably will say it again, wives are to respect their husbands. Period. Not respect their husbands, IF... Not respect their husbands, WHEN... But wives are to respect their husbands.

My challenge:
Spend some time with the Proverbs 31 woman. Spend some time in 1 Cor. 13. What are ways that you (I'm writing to wives) can respect your husband in your words, thoughts, and actions?

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