This post never got published, even though it was written in 2014, when we lived in Costa Rica. I wanted to write a post from my perspective as a international traveler to you who live in the US. I wanted to let you know what my experience was like so that you could better understand the international people in your community.
Living in a country where I didn't speak the language fluently has opened my eyes to the experience of being a foreigner in a strange land. Here are some of my thoughts which can hopefully be applied to the internationals in your communities.
*disclaimer* These statements are true for me, but they won't apply to every international you ever meet.
1. Just because I don't initiate conversations does not mean that I do not want to talk. It's just that talking is highly intimidating. I'm learning about indefinite past tense, imperfect past tense, perfect past tense, pluperfect past tense, present tense, present progressive, simple future, compound future, conditionals, and new vocabulary every day. I get them mixed up and I get confused sometimes, which makes communicating difficult.
2. Just because I don't speak your language well, that does not mean that I'm stupid. I'm working on my second language, which means I make a whole lot of errors, but just because I speak like a four-year-old does not mean that I have the intelligence of a four-year-old. (Side tangent: I haven't faced this problem in our host country, but many Americans have this mindset. Some international students are learning English as their second, third, fourth+ language. They are intelligent. Saying that foreigners need to speak English in America does not help them learn it any better, but having conversations with them does.)
3. I need your patience. It takes me a while sometimes to get the correct words together in the correct order with the correct conjugation (I hope). Please be patient with me as I try to express myself in another language.
4. Please speak slowly, clearly, and without slang or idioms. Each word you say needs to be translated in my mind. Please use simple words that are clearly enunciated. I probably won't understand slang or idioms. Abbreviations, acronyms, and slang are very difficult for me to understand.
5. Please talk to me. I desperately want conversations in the language I am learning. I want to connect with people. It's just that I'm equally terrified of having these conversations.Talk to us after church. Conversations are nice, even if we don't initiate often.
6. Invite me into your home. Invite me to the store with you. Invite me over for a meal of your typical food. It will make my day to know that you want to spend time with me.
7. Encourage me. The task of learning another language is sometimes overly-daunting. I don't always feel like I am progressing. To hear a native speaker (sincerely) telling me that I am doing well is very encouraging to me.
8. I don't repeat back things you say to be annoying or talk more, but to make sure I understand. There is a strong temptation to just nod my head and agree with whatever you say. When I try to rephrase what you just said back to you, I'm trying to make sure that I heard, translated, and understood correctly. Please be patient as I check for understanding.
9. That look of panicked confusion is genuine, especially if we are in a noisy environment. The noisier it is, the more difficult it is for me to hold a conversation in another language.
10. I am exhausted. Learning a new language, especially by immersion, is exhausting. If I withdraw a bit, it's nothing you did, but rather, my brain is full at the moment.
11. If I understand a joke in your language, celebrate with me because it is a big deal. I don't catch many jokes, but the few I do, I'm happy for hours & hours.
12. I get my social cues from you locals. Please don't send me through the line first or what-have-you. I want to watch you to know how I should behave.
13. There is a delay between when you speak and when I comprehend. If you use a lot a gestures, my comprehension probably will go up.
14. Subtitles for movies, even if they are in the language I am learning, will really help my comprehension.
15. We are not snobs or stuck-up people too good to associate with you. When we hang out in a group of people with the same native language, it's because they are like security blankets & it's comforting to know that if I can't understand what you just said, maybe my friend would have understood and could help me. Many times, when I hang with "my people" I do so because I am just scared and intimidated. I don't always have to courage to leave my friend who speaks my language.
16. If I make silly errors with word placement, it could be because in my native language, that is the word order.
17. If I stumble over the names & places in the Bible, or countries of the world in general, it's because I'm learning every name, place, & country with my new language's pronunciation. It is hard when suddenly Jesús is Jesus, Moisés is Moses, Belén is Bethlehem, and so on. I am relearning everything in these categories.
18. Please don't judge me for using a paraphrase Bible or a different translation than you. KJV has hard words that aren't in our common vocabulary. I'm just want to understand what I'm reading. God speaks through His Word, regardless of the translation.
19. Hug me (if I am a hugger). I don't get hugs from my family.
20. Write it out for me. I read better than I speak.
21. Let me tell stories about my traditions.
22. I'm less intimidated by being asked to read aloud than to answer questions on the spot. It's a great way to include me without fear. I may not follow the discussion or the lesson, but I can read aloud.
23. Sometimes I will completely blank on a word in my new language. I will be explaining something and then bam...I don't know the word I want. I will then proceed to skirt around the word & use many more words than necessary to describe the word I lack.
24. I will stammer and stutter my way through pronouncing words in my new language. I'm not stupid, your language is just hard to pronounce.
25. Call me by name. It makes me feel a part of your group.
26. Take me under your wing. Invite me with you to the store, on errands, shopping, especially if I'm car-less.
27. Make an effort to learn or speak my first language. Even a few words can brighten my day.
28. I will have hard days when I don't want to deal with my new language. On these days I will seek out those in my language group to de-fry my brain.
29. Some parts of the day are easier or harder to speak or understand my new language.
30. I don't catch jokes. If you joke with me, I will take you seriously.
31. In church, if you want us to participate, say our name & then ask us your question. We aren't opposed to participating, but we are intimidated. Sometimes we don't translate if we think you are addressing someone else.
32. In church, it's alright to ask us to read (it's more comfortable than answering a question point-blank!).
33. Compliment our grasp of your language. We don't feel like we're making progress. We are painfully aware of our errors & the words we don't understand. Tohave a native speaker tell us we're doing good (as long as it's a truthful statement) means a lot. Just don't be surprised if we deny it.
...For
I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you
gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me....Matthew 25:31-46
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