The Heart of the Issue

I clean. A lot.
I minimalize.
I organize.
I purge.
I categorize.
I sort.

Sometimes I do this too often.
The heart of my cleaning issue lies, not in the work of my hands, but in the state of my heart.

I clean. A lot.
When I am stressed.
When life seems out-of-control, I take control of one area (my kindle, my emails, my documents).
I control this area.
I defy the unknowns in my life, by seizing one area firmly.
I defy the chaos, by controlling other chaos.

When I go on one of my organizing sprees, I can typically trace my desire to clean to a stresser in my life. The start of something new. A lack of information on something coming up soon. Fear. Doubt. Confusion. These are the triggers that start my obsessive organizing.

Yet, however useful my organizing is, it doesn´t deal with the heart of the issue. It doesn´t deal with my fear of the unknown or my lack of control in an area. It doesn´t bring me closer to my Creator for comfort.

I replace my fear with work. I replace chaos with order. I replace my Creator with myself.

Lord, help me turn to You, not organizing projects when I need comfort due to the unknown. Help me face the heart of the issue and the root of the problem.