Circumventing Knee-Jerk Reactions

Often, we read an article, potentially from a reputable news source. Then we take time to digest it and prayerfully consider how we should respond & what we should say. We carefully craft our response and make sure that we speak from love & with compassion, instead of with scorn or anger.

Or at least, that is what we should do.

Far more often, we read the headline of an article & may glance at a  part of it, then we jump into reaction mode. We write a scathing condemnation that questions the salvation of those who disagree with us. We sit angrily on our high horses as we await responses, preferably in the form of praise for our moral uprightness.

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, knee-jerk reactions do not glorify God nor further the dialogue with others. In fact, I humbly submit that when we give into a knee-jerk reaction, we run the risk of being a jerk.

What should we do instead of reacting in a knee-jerk fashion?

1. Read the article fully. From multiple news sources to gain a fuller picture of everything that happened. Make sure it is a news piece and not an opinion piece.

2. Pray. Journal out your thoughts if writing in a journal helps. Pour out all your emotions to God. Tell Him what you are feeling. Ask yourself why you feel angry, scared, sad, or threatened. Ask God for clarity to reveal what you feel, why you feel it, what your response should be, and what is truly the heart of the matter.

3. Be still and listen. Quiet yourself and listen to God. What is the Spirit telling you?

4. Turn to the Bible for an eternity perspective and for guidance in responding. Is this something that will matter in 5 years? In 50 years? In 500 years?

5. Ask God if you need to write a response. Prayerfully weigh each word. Be courageous enough to write from a place of vulnerability, where sadness, not anger, colors your tone.

6. Write from your perspective, telling how this news impacts you. Leave off judgment, condemnation, and sweeping statements that lump people together. Write in humble love.

7. Read what you wrote and pray about it. Is the Spirit prompting you to post it on social media, online, or tell it in person?

8. Run what you've written through the following two tests:

A. The T.H.I.N.K. Test

Is what I'm about the post TRUE?
Is it HELPFUL?
Is it INSPIRATIONAL?
Is it NECESSARY?
Is it KIND?

B. The Philippians 4:8 Test

Is what I'm about to post TRUE?
Is it NOBLE?
Is it RIGHT?
Is it PURE?
Is it LOVELY?
Is it ADMIRABLE?
Is it EXCELLENT?
Is it PRAISEWORTHY?

9. Pray for the people who are impacted by the story and pray for those who are reacting to it.

10. If you have been so prompted by the Spirit, post your comment.

*Repeat each and every time that you feel tempted to have a knee-jerk reaction*

I know that this is a long checklist to do EVERY time you read or hear something and are tempted to react immediately, but the Bible has a LOT to say about when to speak and when to remain silent.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-7 tells us that there is a time and a season for every activity, including "a time to be silent and a time to speak". Do we ask God if this is a time to speak or if this is a time to be silent, before we sent our posts out into the world of social media?

Matthew 12:36 tells us that everyone will be giving an account on the day of judgment for every EMPTY WORD they have spoken. We will also give an account of empty words that we have typed. I don't think that God will only hold us accountable for words that we speak and ignore the words that we type.

Ephesians 4:29 challenges us to avoid unwholesome talk, but to only speak what will help build others up as they need encouragement, so that those who listen will be benefited. Do the words I type benefit people? Do they build others up?

James 1:19-20 tells us that we should be quick to LISTEN, slow to SPEAK, and slow to become ANGRY, because our human anger doesn't produce the righteousness that God desires. Are we being quick to listen to what is going on? Are we being slow to speak? Are we slow to become angry?

And then there's Proverbs. It has so much to say about words and speaking and silence, that I don't know where to start. Below is a sampling of verses from Proverbs related to this topic: 

"Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues." Prov. 10:19
"The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value." Prov. 10:20
"The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense." Prov. 10:21
"A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them." Prov. 14:3
"Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips." Prov. 14:7
"The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception."Prov. 14:8
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Prov. 18:21
"Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin." Prov. 13:3
"Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues." Prov. 17:28
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute." Prov. 31:8
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Prov. 15:1
"Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions." Prov. 18:2
"Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them." Prov. 29:20

There is a lot of noise in social media, which is why we, as Christians, need to weigh our words carefully. This checklist is not the easy way, but it guides us to God first as we sort through our emotions and what a godly response should be.

As Christians, shouldn't we take the time to figure out how God would have us to respond to events?

We will post less online if we follow these guidelines, but I believe that what we do post will have been refined and more valuable because of its refinement.

New International Version (NIV)
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Achieving the Impossible

Do you dream?
Do you envision possibilities?
Do you think about what the future could hold?
Do you take steps to apply your dreams to reality?

Recently, I've been dabbling in dreaming.
What are the possibilities that my future could hold?
Where do I want to be in 10 years, or 5 years, or even next month?
How do I get from where I am to where I want to be?

Dreams are beautiful. They are shiny with delicate hope infused in their cores. They don't walk on the ground with the humdrum or commonplace, but rather, they float above our heads. We could see them (figuratively), if we just look up.

But how do we take hold of a dream and bring it to pass? We are on the ground and dreams are above us. How do we get from here to there? Simple. We. Need. Goals.

Goals are ropes that give us the ability to catch dreams and climb up to them. They allow us to flesh out steps between where we are and where we want to be in the future.

Much like taking a road trip in the car, we need more than just the starting point & end destination. We need a plan. Do we want to travel by highway, interstate, or back roads? Do we plan to stop along the way for gas, food, sleep, or other breaks? How long will we be gone?

When we set goals, we mentally start at our end point and work our way backwards in what needs done, before we can move forward to achieve our goals. I'll be taking us through some steps in setting up goals for success. After each step, I'll give a concrete example for how I applied this step in one of my recently achieved goals: biking 2,018 miles in a year.

Step 1: See the Dream

At the start of 2018, my mom asked me if I would be doing the 2018 bike challenge. I had planned on biking 5 times each week for (ideally 5 miles each day average). I asked what the bike challenge was and she said it was to bike 2,018 miles in 2018 (go figure, right?) I first rejected it as impossible. I couldn't bike 2018 miles in 365 days. That's impossible! Right??

Step 2: Count the Cost of What It Will Take

Well, it turns out one would need to bike 40.36 miles a week for 50 weeks to achieve this goal. Yes, there are 52 weeks in a year, but 2 weeks of grace will be appreciated on days I'm under the weather or traveling or whatnot. So if I bike 8 miles, 5 days a week, this goal seems plausible.

Step 3: Make Plans

I have a stationary recumbent bike, so I can safely multi-task. I can do my language studies, study the Bible, and check social media & email from my phone as entertainment and a distraction when I bike. As the year has progressed, I've learned an enjoyable way to while away my biking is to watch a movie or tv show.

Step 4: When Necessary, Tweak Plans

Even though I originally envisioned biking 8 miles each day, 5 days each week, I've tweaked this goal partway through. I needed to average 40 miles a week, but I don't have to bike the same amount each day. On busy days, I might just bike 1 mile. On my days off from work, I might throw on a movie (or two) and bike for several hours.

Step 5: Consider What You Want the Outcome to Be

I kept debating whether I should bike more miles at a lower resistance or fewer miles at a higher resistance on the bike. I got input from a few trusted advisers (my husband and my best friend). We determined that biking more miles at a lower resistance would burn more calories whereas biking fewer miles at a higher resistance would build more muscles. So I decided my resistance would be set on the low end of the middle range of difficulty. 

Step 6: Track Your Progress

Each day, I record how many miles I have biked. My health app on my phone allows me to track time, distance, and calories burned. Each week, I tally my total amount biked (to make sure that I'm on track with my weekly goal of 40-ish miles) and add each week's tally to my monthly total biked. In my paper calendar, I can see my year at a glance with my monthly numbers, or I can see each's month's stats. 

Step 7: Challenge Yourself

I am a bit competitive, so at the end of each month, I tally the total I biked, my best day biking, and my best week biking. I note my quarterly record too. This allows me to know at a glance, how close I am to beating my best day & week ever in biking. (I'll need a movie marathon to help me bike more than 36 miles in a day to be my current record)

Step 8: Track Your Completion Rate 

At any point in the year, I could tell you how far I have biked (for example, 1,170 miles biked), but I also know how many miles I have left to go (848 miles left). 

Step 9: Keep Dreaming

Before this challenge, I could not have joined my husband in a multi-day biking adventure, but as the year progressed, this new dream moves from impossible to plausible to doable. As I achieve my current goal, it opens up possibilities for future goals.

Step 10: Have Fun & Don't Forget to Celebrate!

I enjoy biking. I enjoy challenging myself to beat my personal bests. I enjoy watching movies while I bike. And when I complete this bike challenge, I will celebrate with my friends & family. Sometimes you'll want to select a definite goal ahead of time, other times, you'll just know you'll want to do something to celebrate. But it's important to take time to acknowledge the time, energy, and effort that you put into achieving your goal.

I am a big fan of big dreams. I can't bike 2018 miles in a day (that's over 84 miles per hour for 24 hours!!), but each day, I can chip away at this goal a little more. By the end of the year, I will have done something that I initially thought was impossible. 

This can be applied to more than just exercise goals too.