In Praise of Focus Friend

 I have a new favorite app: Focus Friend, designed by Hank Green. 

This app creates an adorable sentient coffee bean on your phone who loves to knit, except it can't knit if you are using your phone. So you set your phone aside to focus on non-phone tasks while it works. (You can't interrupt it or its work will be lost.) Then you can take the socks (free mode) and scarves (subscription mode) to decorate its rooms.

As a person who loves to check things off my list, I am thrilled to "earn" socks and scarves for not being distracted by my phone.

It has a count-up mode (which lets you stop at any point between 5 minutes and 2 hours without losing your progress) and a count-down mode (where you set a firm phone-free time where ending it early will cause your bean to lose its work).

I use this at social events when I'm tempted to be on my phone instead of socializing.

I use this when I'm doing chores and feel the urge to get side-tracked.

I'm using this now, as I'm writing on my computer. 

What is an app that improves your relationship with technology? 

Sciencing Your Stress Away

Right now, our stressors seem to be at an all time high. From national politics to international politics, our stress is skyrocketing. The uncertainty, the worry over new policies, and the toxicity of social media, is causing our stress to rise like the price of eggs.

There are plenty of books out there discussing scientific studies regarding ways to reduce stress.

When we are stressed, cardio exercise can release some of our stress. Find a cardio dance video or head outside for a power walk.

Long hugs (20 seconds or more) with people we care about can relieve some of our stress. Give that someone (with their consent) a long hug until you both relax.

A long smooch (6 seconds or more) with our significant other can reduce our stress levels. Give that someone (with their consent) a long kiss until you both relax.

Watching something that makes us truly and deeply laugh can vent off some of our stress. Find a video online or check out a comedy from your local library.

Journaling and counseling can help us manage our stress better. Writing and discussing stressors with a counselor can help us process our feelings and also see possible solutions.

Taking Time to Disconnect to Reconnect

 I do love technology. It allows me to connect with family far away. It allows me to bring books, audiobooks, and music with me wherever I go. It entertains me and keeps my schedule in the palm of my hand.

But too much technology is not good for us.

Too much time on social media and news is bad for our mental health.

Too much time with games and entertainment can negatively impact our to do list.

Too much entertainment can leave us unable to entertain ourselves when our technology dies or must be set aside.

My phone has a setting called Digital Wellbeing and Parental Controls. 

It tells me helpful data, like how many times I unlock my phone, to how much time I spend on specific websites or apps.

What's more, it allows me to set app and site limits, so I can intentionally decide how long I am wanting to spend on my phone. 

It allows me to set times when I won't be disturbed by notifications when I'm working or sleeping. In fact, these boundaries sometimes make it hard to get in touch with me, but do we need to be always reachable by phone or text? 

Taking time to disconnect, to focus on a craft or a book or the person in front of me, is essential to my well-being.

Being present with a person, and not checking my notifications, shows their importance to me. 

Having my phone silenced during my work hours allows me to do my job instead of constantly checking my phone. In fact, my phone doesn't show me incoming text messages when I'm working!

Putting my phone on do not disturb at night allows me to sleep better without worrying about getting woken up by a late night text from a night owl friend. 

Putting my phone down when I'm visiting with friends or when I'm watching a show or reading a book stretches my attention span to keep focusing on just one thing.

What sorts of limits and curbs do you want on technology in order to better connect to those around you?

Self-Care Sunday: Stay Hydrated

Staying hydrated is one way to practice self-care.

Our bodies work better when they are fully hydrated and many people are not drinking enough water.

Take some time to read an article or two on the benefits of drinking enough water...as you drink some water. 

Self-Care Sunday: Treat Yourself

I am a huge proponent in occasionally treating yourself to small pleasures.

If I'm having a rough day at work, I stop by a dollar store for a couple of items or swing by a bakery for a treat.

It doesn't have to be expensive or time-consuming to constitute a treat. 

Make a list of healthy (and a few unhealthy) treats that you enjoy and then get one of them the next time you need a little self-care.

What's your favorite way to treat yourself? 

Self-Care Sunday: Practice Niksen

The Dutch art of Niksen may not be as well known as the Danish art of Hygge, but it is equally important. 

Niksen (pronounced Neek-sah) is the art of doing nothing. Not using the phone, doing the dishes, listening to music, but actually doing nothing.

As life picks up pace and schedules are getting fuller again, niksen needs to be protected from busyness and overcommitting. 

One way I keep niksen is to actually schedule it on my calendar. It is one of my day's priorities and it counts as a valid plan. When someone invites me to something, I can legitimately say that I have plans and won't be able to attend. 

How can you practice niksen this week? 

Self-Care Sunday: Observe the Sabbath

One way that we can practice self-care is to take one day each week as a Sabbath.

Pick a day that works for your schedule (and prepare to adjust it if necessary from time to time).

Start your Sabbath after supper the day BEFORE your Sabbath. (So if I am Sabbathing on Sunday, I will go from sundown Saturday until an hour after sundown on Sunday.)

We don't have to work on our Sabbath. If it's a delight to bake a pie or a loaf of bread, do it, but this isn't a day to cross a lot off of our to-do lists. 

It is a day to rest, worship, and rejuvenate. 

How can observing the Sabbath be a form of self-care? 

Self-Care Sunday: Practice Hygge

 Hygge has become a buzzword in our culture, as businesses try to cash in on the latest craze of seeking comfort and coziness with friends and family.

One way we can practice self-care is to take time each week for hygge. 

Get comfortable. Wear the comfy sweatpants and a baggy sweater.

Get cozy. Grab a blanket, a cup of tea, and a book to nestle in for the afternoon. Bonus points if it's raining.

Get together. Spend time with friends or family. Play a game or just sit together and enjoy each other's company. 

How can you practice hygge today? 

Self-Care Sunday: Make Plans with Friends

One way of taking care of ourselves is to spend time with friends. Take some time to call, text, or email a friend and schedule something fun to do together. It could be walking at a park or grabbing a coffee at the local coffee shop or even watching a movie at home. 

Figure out the things that the two of you like to do and then do that thing together. 

Self-Care Sunday: Tech-Free Day

 Sometimes, we need to unplug and take a break from technology.

Turn off the computer.

Leave the phone in another room.

Turn off the radio and TV.

We can use a tech-free day to enjoy some time out in nature or curl up with a good book. 

How does taking a break from technology serve as a form of self-care? 

Self-Care Sunday: Clock-Out

 Today's self-care tip is to leave work at work. When we clock out at the end of our day and come back home, let us focus on our relationships, home, and hobbies. 

We are a part of a hyper-connected world. We can check our work emails at home, and co-workers and bosses can call or text us.

But we can have good boundaries between work and home. For example, we can let our co-workers and bosses know that we only check our e-mails during work hours. If there's a quick text or call about where we left something, it's easy enough to answer, but if we are being asked to troubleshoot a problem over the phone, we could let them know we'll tackle that the next day we work or if we are paid overtime, we can come in now to handle it immediately. (This won't work for every work situation, but we can adapt boundaries to the particulars of our circumstances)

What are ways that you can "clock out" and leave work at work? 

What boundaries between work and home do you need? 

Self-Care Sunday: Get Outdoors

 Outdoors is good for the soul.

There we can find sunshine, growing things, and living creatures.

While I do enjoy city parks, I also recommend state parks, where you can get away from all sounds of civilization. 

Take time this week to get out into nature. 

Sit by a stream.

Sit in sunshine.

Sit under a tree.

And breathe. 

Self-Care Sunday: Brainstorm Reviving Activities

 We are not all the same. Some of these ideas for self-care, which work well for me, aren't as beneficial for you.

Today's challenge is to brainstorm a list of "reviving activities". 

What activities recharge your batteries or refill your bucket? 

What brings you peace, joy, and gratitude? 

Make a list of these things.

Then plan to do one of them at least every week, if not something small every day. 

Self-Care Sundays: Make a Self-Care Kit

Now that we can recognize when we are stressed and what we can handle, we might want to create a self-care kit.

Ask yourself what brings you comfort when you are down or stressed.

What clothing is comfy and cozy?

What activities lower your stress level? (Movie, book, craft, etc.)

What creates a cozy atmosphere? (Candle, scent diffuser, etc.)

What foods and drinks are comforting and yet healthy enough that you won't regret eating them when you're stressed? 

How can you pamper yourself? (Face, hands, feet, etc.)

Now collect these items in one place for the next time you need some extra self-love!!

Self-Care Sunday: Savor a Hot Beverage

One of my favorite methods of self-care involves savoring a hot beverage.

It may be tea, hot chocolate, coffee (decaf or caffeinated). or something else, but the important part is taking time to drink it slowly and enjoy the experience.

Use all of your senses to savor the beverage.

Touch: Hold the cup in your hands and feel the warmth.

Sight: Look at the steam rising or the patterns on the surface of the beverage.

Sound: If you make your own beverage, listen to the sound of the tea kettle boiling water. Hear the slurp as you slowly drink your beverage.

Smell: Consider what smells from the beverage reach your nose. Which smell is strongest? 

Taste: What does your drink taste like? Roll in around your mouth before swallowing. 

Self-Care Sunday: Take Time to Rest

There's always plenty to do. Many tasks on our to do lists are only temporarily done (i.e. laundry, dishes, etc.) So it is incredibly dangerous to say that "I'll rest when _______ is done." If we need to rest, we need to rest. 

We can rest at home, but for many of us the temptation to do a bit more work is too tempting.

We may be better able to rest if we leave the house, maybe even leave the property, and go somewhere peaceful. It may be a local park, with a woods or stream. It may be a local river walk or bench.

Take time to rest, to be still, to recharge. 

Listen to your body, your emotions, and the still small voice of the Spirit guiding you to find your rest in Christ.

Self-Care Sunday: Decide What You Can Handle Today

We are humans, not machines, so we don't perform the exact same way every day. Our moods, energy levels, and so many other factors play into what we can handle and tolerate on any given day.

Some days, we might be up for cleaning and organizing.

Other days, we might need to bundle up on the couch with a blanket and a familiar book. 

And both situations are alright. 

Sometimes, we are up for trying something new, whether that's a show, food, music, or a book. 

At other times, we might need something familiar and predictable. 

Being able to identify whether we need the familiar or the new is a crucial skill. 

Weighing whether we have the energy or the capacity to tackle things today or saving them for tomorrow can help us be kind to ourselves when we need rest instead of productivity or when we need comfort instead of excitement. 

So what can you handle today? 

Self-Care Sunday: Recognize Your Stress

This will be a semi-regular series (I hope) that looks at ways we can take care of ourselves as the pandemic is in its third year.

Take a moment to check-in with yourself physically.

Are you tense? 

Is any part of you in pain? 

What physical needs do you have? Hunger? Thirst? The urge to use the restroom?

Now consider: which of your physical responses are tied to stress? 

Are you tense because of stress? 

Is your pain (headache, stomachache) because of stress? 

Are you solving your physical needs with healthy or unhealthy choices? 

It is perfectly natural to be stressed during a global pandemic. 

We have been carrying this stress for over two years. 

Yet, if we don't acknowledge that we are stressed, we are hindered in our ability to process and handle our stress in healthy ways. 

What are your signs that you are stressed? 

How often are you aware that you are stressed? 

How do you respond to stress?

How do you treat yourself when you are stressed? 

How do you treat others when you are stressed? 

*Disclaimer* I am not a doctor or a psychologist. The opinions expressed in this series are my own and should not replace professional advice.