Looking Back at 2025

As one year has ended, and another begins, I wanted to pause to look back.

My Fitbit tells me that I walked 1,515.06 miles and earned 7,515 heart minutes.

I used StoryGraph to track my books and audiobooks this year.

Books: 67 (physical) + 23 digital = 90 (for a combined 30,447 pages)

Audiobooks: 33 (for a combined 331.7 hours)

Total: 123

I volunteered at a local farm 34 days.

I spent spring break at 2 state parks with my dad.

BoardGameGeek tracked the games I played: 341 games played. 

My top 10 games: 

Star Realms 

Gizmos 

Race for the Galaxy 

Space Base 

Abandon All Artichokes 

Hanamikoji 

Harmonies 

Hive 

Kingdomino 

P.I.

Looking Back at 2024

 As 2025 has started with a storm and a snow day, I wanted to take some time to reflect on 2024.

As I counted the books I read, as recorded through my e-reader history and record of the library reading challenges, I was surprised to realize that I had read 50 books in 2024. I had also listened to 29 audiobooks. 

My favorite audiobook author is Melanie Cellier, with her the Four Kingdoms series, Beyond the Four Kingdoms series, and Return to the Four Kingdoms series taking up 17 of my audiobook completions. 

I volunteer at my favorite local farm a total of a dozen times. I would have volunteered more, but a bathroom remodel project kept me at home waiting for workers during most of the summer.

I spent spring break at 3 local state parks with my dad.

Looking at the games I played, I ended up play 124 different games in 2024, but between those games, I played 375 different games. 

There's a lot that happened that I didn't track: how many times I hiked at a state park, how many dates I had with my husband, family meet-ups and gatherings, etc. 

2024 had its ups and its downs, its stressors and its successes, but overall, it was an enjoyable year. 

Self-Reflection Questions

I love introspection, the discipline of reflecting on my actions, speech, thoughts, and attitudes. Below are some questions that I recently asked myself and recorded my answers in a journal.

Ideally, each year, I will re-ask myself these questions, as the season I'm in continues to grow and change.

Who am I?

Who do I want to be? 

What do I want my life to look like? 

What rhythms and habits do I want to have? 

What non-essentials do I want to cut out? 

What virtues do I want to have?

What vices do I have? 

How can I live out my ideals? 

What are some self-reflection questions that you ask yourself?

On Direct Communication

There are two types of communicators: direct communicators and...well, I'm sure you understand the other communication style.

(The other communication style is indirect communication.)

Direct communication says what it means, plainly and without frills.

Indirect communication is relying on the other person to pick up on social cues and subtle nuances in your speech. 

The problem is, a direct communicator doesn't always pick up on what the indirect communicator is saying, because the indirect communicator isn't clearly saying what they mean.

I highly appreciate the direct communicators in my life, because I know where I stand with them and I don't have to worry about disregarding their boundaries since they will let me know what they expect from me.

From what I have observed, indirect communicators seem to build up a lot of resentment at others when they don't pick up on the nuances of the speaker. 

There seems to be overlap between setting good boundaries and communicating directly. This isn't to say every indirect communicator has poor boundaries or every direct communicator has boundaries that are well-enforced, but there does seem to be a correlation between speaking directly and having good boundaries. 

I do favor direct communication, even though I can speak indirectly myself at times. 

My husband and I will often paraphrase back to the other person what we heard them say. Sometimes, our conclusions are so far off base, it is almost comical. 

Tips for speaking directly: 

-Say exactly what you mean. If you mean "we should get the grass mowed before it rains", say that instead of "the weather report says it might rain at 2pm". 

-Make a request instead of making a statement. Say "Could you please clean out the litterbox?" instead of saying "The litterbox is dirty".

-Use phrases such as "I want...", "I need...", "I would like...", or even "Could you please..." to make your requests. 

Tips for communicating with an indirect speaker: 

-Repeat back what you think they said. "It sounded to me like you're just making small talk about the weather. Is that right or were you meaning something else?" 

-Question their statements. Ask if they are wanting you to do something, and if so, please say it plainly. 

-Let them know that you will take what they say at face value. If they complain "The house is filthy", feel free to give an equally bland reply "That sounds frustrating." Granted it is a good idea to follow up with a question along the lines of "What are you wanting to do about that?" or "Are you asking me to do something?" 

Are you a direct or an indirect communicator? What tips do you have for communicating clearly? 

The Old Normal May Not Come Back

I've been pondering variations of the phrase "things will get back to normal soon".

But I can't help but wonder, what if they don't go back to normal?

Do I think we can find a new normal in the midst of a pandemic? Absolutely!

Do I believe we will one day reach a new normal once more when the lockdowns end? Of course!

Will things go back exactly as they were before the virus brought our lives to screeching halts? My dear friends, this is not likely.

When a wedding happens, life doesn't go back to normal afterwards. Things change drastically for the couple. Two lives are blended into one. Two people learn to live in one household together. A new normal is formed.

When someone we love dies, we wonder how our lives can go on with a hole in our hearts. We notice the empty space they should have been. Life never goes back to the way it was before they died, but we learn to live in a world without them.

When a tragedy like a world war or 9/11 happened, big changes followed. Clean up and recovery didn't happen overnight. Lasting changes became new normals as the way we interacted with our world changed.

When we graduated from high school or college, things never went back to the way they were before. We now were required to navigate the world of "adulting". There was no way to retreat back into the carefree (or highly stressful) days of school.

There are moments in our lives when change occurs, where things will no longer be as they once were.

These make a lasting impact on us. They define us going forward. They leave an irrevocable mark on our characters and souls.

This pandemic is one such defining event.

When it ends (and yes, it will end), we will come out of our social distancing and lockdowns, changed, but still here. Grieving those we have lost, even as we rejoice at the simple joy of choosing to go to the grocery store as a family. Things will become a new sort of normal as we pick up the pieces of our lives again. Some pieces will be fit back together, bearing the marks of this trial. Other pieces will be discarded, no longer applicable in our lives tomorrow. And one day, after a new post-pandemic normal has been reached, we will look around and marvel that this new life has become our normal.

Utilizing A Schedule While Staying At Home

When staying at home for an extended number of days, it's easy for the days to start to blend together and for gloom to set in. One way to combat this is to utilize a schedule to add structure to the day.

Since I work from home, my schedule wasn't as drastically upset as other's schedules have been, but nonetheless, I have switched over to a stay-at-home schedule to keep me productive and enjoying life. So here are some tips and tricks of scheduling, even for those of you who are free spirits and resist schedules normally.

Tips and Tricks of Scheduling
1. Plan an overarching schedule. For example, I have a set time that I teach online every day. It's something consistent.
2. Plan something fun. For example, I typically love my afternoon because I work on my hobbies. They are scheduled events so my "achiever" side is happy, but they are fun activities so I can de-stress. I am even learning a new skill (playing the violin). I really look forward to my time to practice everyday.
3. Plan something unique for each day. I listen to a sermon on Sundays. I have an online Bible study on Tuesdays. I have e-games with various family members on Wednesdays and Fridays. These events are unique events each week and help me keep track of what day it is.
4. Plan margin time. When scheduling events, I plan at least 15 minutes between the different events. This allows for hiccups in the day.
5. Plan exceptions to your schedule. Sometimes, when I'm busy or behind, I start to delete events that can wait until tomorrow. It's okay. It'll be there.
6. Plan a Sabbath day. My Sunday is my day of rest and my schedule reflects that. I can choose to do my hobbies or bake a treat or just rest.
7. Plan activities with people and apart from people. I am staying at home with my delightful husband, but I have friends staying at home as single individuals. In either case, we can do some activities by ourselves, but do other activities with others (either in person or via technology).
8. Plan to get notifications to remind you what's next. My phone gives me all the reminders I need. 30 minutes before my next activity it sends me a notification so I can plan to wind down my current activity and start my next task.
9. Plan time for chores and other routine tasks. Budgeting and laundry will still need done, so set time aside to handle these necessary chores. Find ways to make cleaning fun. Speed cleaning? Cleaning Dance Party? How can you make it enjoyable?
10. Plan self-care. Take care of yourself. Pamper yourself. Eat a treat, but also go on a (properly socially distanced) walk. Open the curtains, even though they'll need closed at the end of the day.

Decluttering While Staying At Home

Decluttering is one of my joys of life. Seeing a clean, organized, decluttered area relaxes me like few other things. So since we are staying at home for another 30 days at least in the US, I thought I could give some suggestions on the what and how of decluttering.

Tip #0: Get help!
My favorite organizing site is www.flylady.net and it utterly rocks. She will give you encouragement and some tough love blended together. She has great advice and great resources. I recommend her!!!!!

Tip #1: Start small!
If we start by pulling everything out in a closet or a room, it is very easy to get overwhelmed. So start small. Start with one drawer, one shelf, or one clothing type. Once one area is done, move onto the next logical area.

Tip #2: Be consistent!
If we are working on a drawer in a kitchen on Monday, sorting through skirts in the closet on Tuesday, tackling books on a shelf on Wednesday, and so on, it is easy to feel like we aren't making progress and therefore feel discouraged. Decide to spend a week in a room before moving on.

Tip #3: Tackle the visible first!
If we start by organizing our desk drawers or our kitchen cabinets, things will be more organized, but we can still end up seeing a lot of visible clutter and again feel discouraged. So if we tackle the areas that stress us out the most, we will get the biggest gains for our initial efforts. There will be a time to organize our clutter in drawers and cabinets. And that time is AFTER we have decluttered our visible areas.

Tip #5: Schedule your decluttering time and stick to it!
If you're like me, you might need a little extra umph to get started with decluttering. So set a time that you will declutter (no more than 15 or 30 minutes per day).

Tip #6: Set a timer and stick to it!
If you are like me, cleaning can be energizing, so once we get started, it is tempting to use our momentum to keep on going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going...until we crash and burn and are stick of decluttering and cleaning!! So to avoid burnout, stick to a daily decluttering time with its time limit of 15 or 30 minutes per day.

Tip #7: Stay on target!
If we find something that belongs in the living room while working in the bedroom, it is tempting to try to put that thing away and then get sucked into decluttering a second area when we're not done with the first area. Things will look a bit more disorganized for a bit as we stay focused in our chosen area, but eventually, we will declutter each room and have space to put away all those mystery items we found in the wrong room.

Tip #8: Use containers to sort through things.
If we decide that something is trash or something we don't need anymore, put it in some sort of container, whether it's a tote, box, or bag. Have a trash bag handy for trash. Have a recycling bin or container for papers that need shredded. Have a tote for donations of things we once needed, but have outgrown.

Tip #9: Get stuff out of the house!
If we have a bag full of trash, put it in the trash barrel! If we have a pile of papers to shred and then recycle, get them by the paper shredder! If we have things that we want to donate, get them out to the trunk or backseat of the car! The areas we declutter will feel more open as things leave them!!!

Tip #10: Don't forget your cool-down/wind-down time!
If we forget this last step, our timer will ring and we will drop what we are holding and walk away! Take the last few minutes of your 15/30 minutes to wrap up any loose ends until tomorrow. That way, we won't leave things in the middle of the floor, but can enjoy our rooms as they are being decluttered.

Bonus Ideas:
-Ask yourself how many ____ do you need and then cut back to that amount. (i.e. I need 5 skirts, but I have 8, so which 3 would I like to donate?)
-Decide to get rid of clothes that don't fit, kitchenware you don't use, and other things that you don't need.
-Figure out how many _____ can fit in an area and then cut back to that number or less than that amount. (i.e. My cabinet can hold 6 tea cups on a shelf, but I'm trying to fit 8 there. Which can I get rid of?)
-It's okay if you aren't ready to get rid of something yet, but we do need to find a place to keep it.
-Decide if you can take picture of the item and donate it. That way you can remember it, without having to store it!
-Stop buying more things!! Put a buying freeze in place. Decide that we won't buy any more clothes/books/movies/kitchen utensils, until we have sorted through that area! It's not saying we can't ever buy things again, but it is nearly impossible to declutter an area that we are constantly adding more things to.
-If you do need to buy something, make sure it is exactly what you need. Buy only things that fit, meet a need, or are a planned (non-impulse buy). If something would need repaired or taken in before it's usable, leave it for someone else.

A lot of us have too much stuff for the areas we put them. That is why we are starting with decluttering tips before we tackle organizing tips. We can't organize an area that cannot physically hold everything we expect to be able to fit there. If I have a 1,000 square foot home, but enough stuff to fill a 1,500 square foot home, I need to declutter at least 500 square feet of stuff before the organizing can really start. So before we organize, let's declutter!

Loving People How They Want To Be Loved During Social Distancing

How can we still love others in other houses, while we are still practicing social distancing?

1. Request friends and family members take the free 5 Love Languages quiz and send you their top result(s)
2. For those who value words: Write a note
3. For those who value words: Speak kindly
4. For those who value words: Compliment their efforts
5. For those who value words: Send a text
6. For those who value words: Tell them why you like/love them
7. For those who value physical touch: Utilize hug emojis 
8. For those who value physical touch: Give a video chat hug
9. For those who value physical touch: Request someone in their home give them a hug for you
10. For those who value physical touch: Send them a "rain check" for future hugs
11. For those who value physical touch: Encourage them to give themselves a hug/pat on the back from you
12. For those who value time spent with them: video chat with them
13. For those who value time spent with them: connect with them daily
14. For those who value time spent with them: find activities you can still do together via the internet
15. For those who value time spent with them: eat a meal together over video chat
16. For those who value time spent with them: revisit previously mentioned topics to show you were listening
17. For those who value gifts: make them a bookmark and mail it to them
18. For those who value gifts: order something online to send to them
19. For those who value gifts: give them a gift card to a restaurant
20. For those who value gifts: give them a coupon book of ways to stay in touch
21. For those who value gifts: give them a gift card to a grocery store
22. For those who value service and work: ask if you can pick anything up for them
23. For those who value service and work: ask if you can do a virtual task for them
24. For those who value service and work: ask if you can send a card they've been meaning to send
25. For those who value service and work: remind them that you'd like to be helping them even though you can't go over to their house right now
26. For those who value service and work: ask what you can help them with after social distancing has ended
27. Have them take a Myers-Briggs test online and send you their results. 
28. Ask how you can best love them as an introvert or extrovert (where they focus their attention)
29. Ask how you can best love them as a sensor or intuitive (how they take in information)
30. Ask how you can best love them as a thinker or feeler (how they make decisions)
31. Ask how you can best love them as a judger or perceiver (how they deal with the world) 
32. Research more ideas for their specific love language or Myers-Briggs results and plan more specific ways to show them love.

Things To Do Outdoors (If You Have A Yard)

This is a brainstorm of things you can do outside, but still in the confines of your property. (If you don't have a yard, sorry...there's lots of indoor ideas in earlier posts!

1. Clean the gutters
2. Weed the flower beds
3. Plant some flowers
4. Plant a garden (if you don't have a garden filled out, this one may be difficult)
5. Pick up sticks
6. Walk around your property
7. Dig a firepit (according to your city ordinances)
8. Build a city-approved fire in your firepit
9. Take pictures of your flowers to share on social media
10. Prune your trees and bushes
11. Clean out your garage
12. Mow
13. Play croquet
14. Have a picnic
15. Start composting appropriate kitchen scraps and yard waste
16. Clean the dead vines from your fence
17. Watch the sunset
18. Have a campout in a tent or camper one night
19. Build a bird feeder and get it hung up
20. Learn to identify the birds in your yard
21. Build or utilize a laundry line
22. Pick up trash that has blown into your yard (with appropriate safety precautions)
23. Enjoy a cup of tea on the porch
24. Wash the car(s)
25. Find or make a bingo card of things to see outside and try to get a bingo
26. Try to hop on one foot all around your property
27. Build a rain barrel
28. Tackle an outdoor home improvement project
29. Wave to somebody while maintaining social distancing
30. Wash the outsides of your windows

Connecting Activities To Do At Home

How can we stay connected with others while staying indoors at our respective homes?

1. Call someone 
2. Text someone 
3. Video-chat with someone 
4. Write a letter 
5. Write a post card
6. Play with a pet (they need connection time too)
7. Figure out what games can be played over a video-chat and play with someone
8. Make care packages and mail them
9. Get an e-mail pen pal
10. Join an online book club
11. Join a social media group for a topic you're interested in
12.  Play an online computer game with someone
13. Participate in an online forum about a subject you enjoy
14. Send an encouraging message on social media
15. Write window messages to your neighbors
16. Ask someone how their day was
17. Ask someone what they had for breakfast
18. Ask someone what they had for lunch
19. Ask someone what they're planning for dinner
20. Ask someone what is something fun that they did today
21. Ask someone how you can pray for them
22. Ask someone if they need any supplies dropped off
23. Ask someone what they have been reading
24. Ask someone what TV shows they have been watching
25. Ask someone what movies they have seen recently (at home!!)
26. Ask someone what's something they learned recently
27. Ask someone what projects they have going on
28. Ask someone what they're looking forward to after things calm done
29. Ask someone if they want to have a virtual dinner party (using video-conferencing to eat a meal together, apart)
30. Share details of your life with someone

Things To Do in a Kitchen

What can you do at home while staying inside? Let's look at some activities kitchenward!

1. Make and drink a cup of tea
2. Make and drink a cup of coffee
3. Make a smoothie
4. Make frozen banana ice cream
5. Make a dessert
6. Make a soup
7. Make a salad
8. Make an entree (main dish)
9. Make a freezer meal
10. Bake some rolls
11. Bake some biscuits
12. Bake some loaves of bread
13. Try a new crockpot recipe
14. Try a recipe from a different country
15. Invent a new recipe
16. Bake something special
17. Cook something new from scratch
18. Cut up some fruit and eat it
19. Make breakfast for supper
20. Make lunch for breakfast
21. Find 10 things to donate from your utensils or cookware
22. Dig deep into the pantry and come up with a creative meal
23. Eat a vegetable
24. Make cinnamon toast
25. Make garlic bread
26. Plan a menu
27. Make a healthy snack
28. Make a classic family dish
29. Find a new favorite dish
30. Clean up after all your cooking adventures

Indoor Religious Activities To Do At Home

What can you do at home while staying inside? Here's some ideas of how to spend time with God in different ways.

1. Pray for your friends
2. Pray for your families
3. Pray for your city
4. Pray for your state
5. Pray for your nation
6. Pray for our world
7. Pray for those enslaved
8. Pray for those fleeing violence
9. Pray for the homeless
10. Pray for world and local leaders
11. Study the Bible with a new Bible Study method (SOAP, inductive Bible study, etc.)
12. Read through a Gospel
13. Read through an Epistle
14. Read through a book of History
15. Read through a book of Prophecy
16. Read through a book of Law
17. Set aside time to listen through the Bible while working around the house
18. Come up with a Bible reading plan (to get a big-picture view of a part or all of the Bible) & get started on it
19. Come up with a Bible study plan (to get a in-depth view of part of the Bible) & get started on it
20. Read a non-fiction Christian book
21. Watch a sermon online
22. Find something to be grateful for every day
23. Watch the sunset (through the window) and thank the Creator for it
24. Listen to some hymns
25. Listen to some praise & worship songs
26. Sing a hymn
27. Sing a praise & worship song
28. Spend time just being in God's presence
29. Try fixed hour praying (6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6 pm, 9pm, and 12am)
30. Practice a spiritual discipline

Indoor Hobbies To Do At Home

What can you do at home while staying inside? Here's some classic hobbies to dust off and some new hobbies to try!

1. Read a book
2. Learn an instrument
3. Play an instrument already mastered
4. Play a board game
5. Play a card game
6. Play a tabletop game
7. Figure out what games can be played over a video-chat and play with someone
8. Plan a game marathon and then do it
9. Plan a movie marathon and then do it
10. Plan a dance marathon and then do it
11. Build a fort
12. Read in the fort that was built
13. Do "minute to win it" games
14. Dream about future plans
15. Plan a stay-cation
16. Pamper yourself with a spa night
17. Find instructions for taking a mental health day and follow the relevant suggestions
18. Listen to an audio book
19. Indoor campout
20. Indoor day at the beach
21. Write a book (or a screenplay)
22. Design a board game
23. Design a card game
24. Design a tabletop game
25. Sew something
26. Crochet something
27. Knit something
28. Paint something
29. Scrapbook something 
30. Build a card tower
31. Do a puzzle

Indoor Productive Activities To Do At Home

What can you do at home while staying inside? My soul is thrilled by productivity, so while the other (allegedly "more fun") lists are being generated, I wanted to go ahead of get this first list out!

1. Make a daily schedule and try to stick to it
2. Clean the house one room or area at a time
3. Deep clean the house one room or area at a time
4. Dust furniture and knick-knacks
5. Polish furniture
6. Sweep the floor one room or area at a time
7. Mop the floor one room or area at a time
8. Vacuum the floor one room or area at a time
9. Declutter the house one room or area at a time
10. Rearrange a room or area
11. Exercise
12. Tackle those pending projects on the to do list
13. Catch up on emails
14. Reorganize the pantry
15. Learn something new everyday
16. Take advantage of free virtual tours online
17. Take advantage of free classes online
18. Take advantage of digital library resources
19. Learn a foreign language
20. Do the spring cleaning tasks we tend to overlook
21. Clean behind and under the appliances 
22. Clean the oven
23. Get dressed in regular clothes each morning
24. Do a repair that has been neglected
25. Clean out the garage or shed
26. Fashion Show!! Try on everything you own. Separate out the clothes you don't like or that don't fit
27. Sort through your seasonal clothes
28. Fill a donation box for a charity
29. Go through old boxes of stored things
30. Clean out under the bed

Let God Defend Himself: An Open Letter

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

I write this letter with all the love in the world, but I know that this isn't the easiest subject to navigate, especially in the cyber-world.

God doesn't need His Church to defend Him. *ducks to dodge rotten vegetables*

God is not in heaven, biting His nails, wondering if any in His church will refute the lies and misunderstandings about Him. *ducks to dodge rotten fruit*

God does not need us to defend Him. He is more than capable of defending Himself. *ducks to dodge rotten meat*

I hope by this point you are all out of rotten things to throw my way. *ducks just in case*

I know that this topic is touchy, emotionally-charged, and very close to home to many of you, my dear Christian brothers and sisters whom I have the pleasure of calling my friends.

When you care about something or someone, to hear an attack on them hurts you. It causes you pain to hear them slandered or dragged through the mud.

But God can take it. When a person is mad at Him, God can take the yells, cries, and curses brought against Him.

When someone is mad at God, they do not need explanations as to why they should love God or why they are condemned for hating Him. They need to be heard. They need to be understood. They need to feel listened to and validated. They don't need a lecture or a declaration of judgment against them. They don't need another person in their life to tell them why their feelings are wrong. They need someone to sit with them. To listen. To love. To seek to understand. To show them compassion.

God can speak to people. God does speak to people. Far too often, His Church doesn't know how to deal with people's grief, pain, or anger, so we, as the Church, offer empty platitudes and admonitions to have more faith. We say some cliche phrases to get people to move on...or at least to move away from us.

Are we brave enough with God's help to listen to someone's pain without cutting them off to offer defenses and justifications? Are we willing to make sure that we fully understand their pain and their experiences before we even think about responding to people? 

There is a beautiful prayer attributed to St. Francis. But the Church hasn't been praying the true words for a while now. We have corrupted and inverted the Prayer of St. Francis. We have been praying:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your judgment,

Where there is hatred, let me sow justification;

where there is injury, explanations of why the injury occurred; 

where there is doubt, condemnation for lack of faith; 

where there is despair, rebukes for not "snapping out of it"; 

where there is darkness, complaints; 

where there is sadness, avoidance; 

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to console as to be consoled myself; 

to understand as to be understood; 

to love as to be loved. 

For it is in taking that we receive; 

it is in slinging mud that we are pardoned; 

and it is in works that we are born to eternal life." 

*Shudders* That is a horrible version of the prayer, but that is what we do as the Church when we try to talk people out of pain that we haven't bothered to take the time to understand in the first place.

We need to go back to praying the original words to the prayer:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, 

Where there is hatred, let me sow love; 

where there is injury, pardon; 

where there is doubt, faith; 

where there is despair, hope; 

where there is darkness, light; 

where there is sadness, joy; 

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; 

to be understood as to understand; 

to be loved as to love. 

For it is in giving that we receive; 

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; 

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life." 

The Prayer of St Francis of Assisi

God is big enough to handle all the anger, accusations, and pain directed at Him. He can speak to people when they have hit rock bottom and poured themselves out. 

But, I'm beginning to fear that we, as His Church, are not allowing Him the chance to speak because we are so eager to defend Him. We aren't willing to acknowledge people's pain or reasons for being upset with God because we are just chomping at the bit to correct them and show them the errors of their way. And people sense this. They understand that they and their experiences are being brushed aside and written off. They don't feel heard. They don't feel understood. And so their anger at God and His Church grows. 

If we, as the Church, were willing to listen and fully understand before we even think of what we could say in response, people would notice that difference. God didn't charge His Church with making sure that we are His defenders and protectors. In fact, it is the other way around. 

Let God defend Himself. Seek to listen and understand. Be still and listen.

My dear brothers and sisters, I freely admit and repeat that this is a tricky and uncomfortable subject. I encourage you to take some time to reflect on it and camp out on it with the Holy Spirit. I pray that my words have not needlessly hurt you, but I also pray that they will burn away the cliche responses so your love can better be seen by a hurting world.

I remain, yours sincerely,

-Liz o' the Niche

Achieving the Impossible

Do you dream?
Do you envision possibilities?
Do you think about what the future could hold?
Do you take steps to apply your dreams to reality?

Recently, I've been dabbling in dreaming.
What are the possibilities that my future could hold?
Where do I want to be in 10 years, or 5 years, or even next month?
How do I get from where I am to where I want to be?

Dreams are beautiful. They are shiny with delicate hope infused in their cores. They don't walk on the ground with the humdrum or commonplace, but rather, they float above our heads. We could see them (figuratively), if we just look up.

But how do we take hold of a dream and bring it to pass? We are on the ground and dreams are above us. How do we get from here to there? Simple. We. Need. Goals.

Goals are ropes that give us the ability to catch dreams and climb up to them. They allow us to flesh out steps between where we are and where we want to be in the future.

Much like taking a road trip in the car, we need more than just the starting point & end destination. We need a plan. Do we want to travel by highway, interstate, or back roads? Do we plan to stop along the way for gas, food, sleep, or other breaks? How long will we be gone?

When we set goals, we mentally start at our end point and work our way backwards in what needs done, before we can move forward to achieve our goals. I'll be taking us through some steps in setting up goals for success. After each step, I'll give a concrete example for how I applied this step in one of my recently achieved goals: biking 2,018 miles in a year.

Step 1: See the Dream

At the start of 2018, my mom asked me if I would be doing the 2018 bike challenge. I had planned on biking 5 times each week for (ideally 5 miles each day average). I asked what the bike challenge was and she said it was to bike 2,018 miles in 2018 (go figure, right?) I first rejected it as impossible. I couldn't bike 2018 miles in 365 days. That's impossible! Right??

Step 2: Count the Cost of What It Will Take

Well, it turns out one would need to bike 40.36 miles a week for 50 weeks to achieve this goal. Yes, there are 52 weeks in a year, but 2 weeks of grace will be appreciated on days I'm under the weather or traveling or whatnot. So if I bike 8 miles, 5 days a week, this goal seems plausible.

Step 3: Make Plans

I have a stationary recumbent bike, so I can safely multi-task. I can do my language studies, study the Bible, and check social media & email from my phone as entertainment and a distraction when I bike. As the year has progressed, I've learned an enjoyable way to while away my biking is to watch a movie or tv show.

Step 4: When Necessary, Tweak Plans

Even though I originally envisioned biking 8 miles each day, 5 days each week, I've tweaked this goal partway through. I needed to average 40 miles a week, but I don't have to bike the same amount each day. On busy days, I might just bike 1 mile. On my days off from work, I might throw on a movie (or two) and bike for several hours.

Step 5: Consider What You Want the Outcome to Be

I kept debating whether I should bike more miles at a lower resistance or fewer miles at a higher resistance on the bike. I got input from a few trusted advisers (my husband and my best friend). We determined that biking more miles at a lower resistance would burn more calories whereas biking fewer miles at a higher resistance would build more muscles. So I decided my resistance would be set on the low end of the middle range of difficulty. 

Step 6: Track Your Progress

Each day, I record how many miles I have biked. My health app on my phone allows me to track time, distance, and calories burned. Each week, I tally my total amount biked (to make sure that I'm on track with my weekly goal of 40-ish miles) and add each week's tally to my monthly total biked. In my paper calendar, I can see my year at a glance with my monthly numbers, or I can see each's month's stats. 

Step 7: Challenge Yourself

I am a bit competitive, so at the end of each month, I tally the total I biked, my best day biking, and my best week biking. I note my quarterly record too. This allows me to know at a glance, how close I am to beating my best day & week ever in biking. (I'll need a movie marathon to help me bike more than 36 miles in a day to be my current record)

Step 8: Track Your Completion Rate 

At any point in the year, I could tell you how far I have biked (for example, 1,170 miles biked), but I also know how many miles I have left to go (848 miles left). 

Step 9: Keep Dreaming

Before this challenge, I could not have joined my husband in a multi-day biking adventure, but as the year progressed, this new dream moves from impossible to plausible to doable. As I achieve my current goal, it opens up possibilities for future goals.

Step 10: Have Fun & Don't Forget to Celebrate!

I enjoy biking. I enjoy challenging myself to beat my personal bests. I enjoy watching movies while I bike. And when I complete this bike challenge, I will celebrate with my friends & family. Sometimes you'll want to select a definite goal ahead of time, other times, you'll just know you'll want to do something to celebrate. But it's important to take time to acknowledge the time, energy, and effort that you put into achieving your goal.

I am a big fan of big dreams. I can't bike 2018 miles in a day (that's over 84 miles per hour for 24 hours!!), but each day, I can chip away at this goal a little more. By the end of the year, I will have done something that I initially thought was impossible. 

This can be applied to more than just exercise goals too.

How to Treat Strangers, Foreigners, and Internationals

This post never got published, even though it was written in 2014, when we lived in Costa Rica. I wanted to write a post from my perspective as a international traveler to you who live in the US. I wanted to let you know what my experience was like so that you could better understand the international people in your community. 

Living in a country where I didn't speak the language fluently has opened my eyes to the experience of being a foreigner in a strange land. Here are some of my thoughts which can hopefully be applied to the internationals in your communities.

*disclaimer* These statements are true for me, but they won't apply to every international you ever meet.

1. Just because I don't initiate conversations does not mean that I do not want to talk. It's just that talking is highly intimidating. I'm learning about indefinite past tense, imperfect past tense, perfect past tense, pluperfect past tense, present tense, present progressive, simple future, compound future, conditionals, and new vocabulary every day. I get them mixed up and I get confused sometimes, which makes communicating difficult.

2. Just because I don't speak your language well, that does not mean that I'm stupid. I'm working on my second language, which means I make a whole lot of errors, but just because I speak like a four-year-old does not mean that I have the intelligence of a four-year-old. (Side tangent: I haven't faced this problem in our host country, but many Americans have this mindset. Some international students are learning English as their second, third, fourth+ language. They are intelligent. Saying that foreigners need to speak English in America does not help them learn it any better, but having conversations with them does.)

3. I need your patience. It takes me a while sometimes to get the correct words together in the correct order with the correct conjugation (I hope). Please be patient with me as I try to express myself in another language.

4. Please speak slowly, clearly, and without slang or idioms. Each word you say needs to be translated in my mind. Please use simple words that are clearly enunciated. I probably won't understand slang or idioms. Abbreviations, acronyms, and slang are very difficult for me to understand.

5. Please talk to me. I desperately want conversations in the language I am learning. I want to connect with people. It's just that I'm equally terrified of having these conversations.Talk to us after church. Conversations are nice, even if we don't initiate often.

6. Invite me into your home. Invite me to the store with you. Invite me over for a meal of your typical food. It will make my day to know that you want to spend time with me.

7. Encourage me. The task of learning another language is sometimes overly-daunting. I don't always feel like I am progressing. To hear a native speaker (sincerely) telling me that I am doing well is very encouraging to me. 

8. I don't repeat back things you say to be annoying or talk more, but to make sure I understand. There is a strong temptation to just nod my head and agree with whatever you say. When I try to rephrase what you just said back to you, I'm trying to make sure that I heard, translated, and understood correctly. Please be patient as I check for understanding.

9. That look of panicked confusion is genuine, especially if we are in a noisy environment. The noisier it is, the more difficult it is for me to hold a conversation in another language.

10. I am exhausted. Learning a new language, especially by immersion, is exhausting. If I withdraw a bit, it's nothing you did, but rather, my brain is full at the moment.

11. If I understand a joke in your language, celebrate with me because it is a big deal. I don't catch many jokes, but the few I do, I'm happy for hours & hours.

12. I get my social cues from you locals. Please don't send me through the line first or what-have-you. I want to watch you to know how I should behave.

13. There is a delay between when you speak and when I comprehend. If you use a lot a gestures, my comprehension probably will go up.

14. Subtitles for movies, even if they are in the language I am learning, will really help my comprehension.

15. We are not snobs or stuck-up people too good to associate with you. When we hang out in a group of people with the same native language, it's because they are like security blankets & it's comforting to know that if I can't understand what you just said, maybe my friend would have understood and could help me. Many times, when I hang with "my people" I do so because I am just scared and intimidated. I don't always have to courage to leave my friend who speaks my language.

16. If I make silly errors with word placement, it could be because in my native language, that is the word order.

17. If I stumble over the names & places in the Bible, or countries of the world in general, it's because I'm learning every name, place, & country with my new language's pronunciation. It is hard when suddenly Jesús is Jesus, Moisés is Moses, Belén is Bethlehem, and so on. I am relearning everything in these categories.

18. Please don't judge me for using a paraphrase Bible or a different translation than you. KJV has hard words that aren't in our common vocabulary. I'm just want to understand what I'm reading. God speaks through His Word, regardless of the translation.

19. Hug me (if I am a hugger). I don't get hugs from my family.

20. Write it out for me. I read better than I speak.

21. Let me tell stories about my traditions.

22. I'm less intimidated by being asked to read aloud than to answer questions on the spot. It's a great way to include me without fear. I may not follow the discussion or the lesson, but I can read aloud.

23. Sometimes I will completely blank on a word in my new language. I will be explaining something and then bam...I don't know the word I want. I will then proceed to skirt around the word & use many more words than necessary to describe the word I lack.

24. I will stammer and stutter my way through pronouncing words in my new language. I'm not stupid, your language is just hard to pronounce.

25. Call me by name. It makes me feel a part of your group.

26. Take me under your wing. Invite me with you to the store, on errands, shopping, especially if I'm car-less.

27. Make an effort to learn or speak my first language. Even a few words can brighten my day.

28. I will have hard days when I don't want to deal with my new language. On these days I will seek out those in my language group to de-fry my brain.

29. Some parts of the day are easier or harder to speak or understand my new language.

30. I don't catch jokes. If you joke with me, I will take you seriously.

31. In church, if you want us to participate, say our name &  then ask us your question. We aren't opposed to participating, but we are intimidated. Sometimes we don't translate if we think you are addressing someone else.

32. In church, it's alright to ask us to read (it's more comfortable than answering a question point-blank!).

33. Compliment our grasp of your language. We don't feel like we're making progress. We are painfully aware of our errors & the words we don't understand. Tohave a native speaker tell us we're doing good (as long as it's a truthful statement) means a lot. Just don't be surprised if we deny it.

...For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me....Matthew 25:31-46

Vices and Virtues in the Coming Year

2018 is almost upon us. As the old year fades away, and the new year arrives, a lot of people set New Year's Resolutions.

I recently read Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott. In the book, Rose (the main character) challenges her cousins to give up one of their vices. She is challenged in turn to turn from one of her little vanities. This little exchange got me thinking as the new year approaches:

What vice in my life should I leave behind in 2017?
What virtue should I cultivate and add into my life in 2018?

If I cannot see the faults I possess or the virtues I lack, who is a trusted person in my life that I can ask for their honest opinions? Sometimes other people see these areas more clearly than I do because they are in my blind spot.

Even though I am a saved and sanctified Christian, I am still human and struggle to overcome my earthly nature. I can be petty, prideful, and a perfectionist. I know that I am not the reflection of Christ that I want to be. But I got to thinking: what if, each year, I give up a vice or idol that I realize is separating me from God? What if, each year, I make the effort to cultivate a virtue that Christ possesses, but I lack? Each year, little by little, day by day, I will be growing more Christ-like as I depend on His grace and mercy more and more.

In 2017, I plan to leave behind a few vices in my life: I will stop grumbling and complaining. I will release my hold on my possessions (aka stop being stingy).

In 2018, I plan to cultivate and add a few virtues: I will practice being empathetic and specifically nurture my empathy. I will practice generosity as a antidote to my natural tendency towards stinginess and greed.

I know there will be times in 2018 when I will grumble, complain, and be stingy. I know that at other times, I won't be empathetic or generous. These are not vices to conquer in a day or week, but as these deeply rooted habits and traits are attacked, they will weaken until it is easier to shrug off their hold on me. I am sowing these virtues in my life. Through watering the virtues, weeding out the vices, and taking the time to cultivate those things that are good and noble, these good traits will be strengthened in my life.

This is my plan for 2018. There will be hard days. There will be failures and mistakes, but I know that these desires will please God and His strength will give me the courage to get back up after failing and to try again after falling short.

Now it is your turn to ask yourselves these questions:
What vice in my life should I leave behind in 2017?
What virtue should I cultivate and add into my life in 2018?
Who is a trusted person in my life that I can ask for their honest opinion on my vices and virtues?

Where Your Value Comes From

My husband has an unofficial catchphrase: "Your value does not come from _____________." (Can a catchphrase be modified each time it's used?)

My value does not come from whether I hit my steps goals for the day.
My value does not come from whether I am caught up on housekeeping.
My value does not come from an empty sink.
My value does not come from how successful I am at my job.

Instead my value comes from God.
I am His child.
I am made in His image.
He looked at mankind and declared His creation very good.

If I get my value from an earthly, temporal thing or achievement, there will be days that I fall short and don't measure up. Then I will be devastated because I am not measuring up.

If I get my value from the God of the universe, then I can rest secure in who I am, because God doesn't change.

So say to yourself when you fail at a task, "My value does not come from perfection or constant success." But also say to yourself when you succeed, "My value does not come from this current success or hinge on continued success."

My value comes from who God is and who I am in His eyes.
God sees me completely.
God knows me fully.
God loves me anyway.

Get your value from God.

My Goal for 2015 in One Word: Simplify

I have a friend who makes necklaces with a word printed on them.

A few years ago, I ordered a necklace with the word CONTENT on it, as a reminder to be content with what I have. I based it off of Hebrews 13:5-6.

At the end of this year, I ordered a necklace with the word SIMPLIFY on it, because that is my goal for the upcoming year.

I want to simplify my schedule. In the 4 years I have been married, my husband has shown me that spaces between activities are beneficial for both of us. While I can go all day from one thing to another, I am more relaxed when I have space between my activities.

I want to simplify my possessions. Matthew 6:21 tells us that where our treasure is, our hearts also are. I want to cut the ties to treasures that keep my heart focused on possessions. I want less stuff, so others can have more. I want to use what possessions I do have, not be controlled by them.

I want to simplify my meals. I read in a book recently that one homemaker has a go-to meal for company: a soup, a homemade bread, and a fruit-based dessert. There is a lot of room for creativity within these categories, but it is a simpler menu.

I want to simplify, so the noise dies down in my life, because it is in the silences that God speaks. How can I hear His still, small voice over the radio, the audio-books, the calendar, the stuff I need to take care of, the to do list, etc.? By quieting down the distractions, I can better listen.

As I think about the upcoming years, I have other words I hope to one day get: PEACE, HOSPITALITY, JUSTICE, but for today, for 2015, my word of the year is SIMPLIFY.

What would be your word, your goal for the upcoming year?